• Stephen Olmon

Selfish Giving

At first glance, gifts are a kind, selfless act to show appreciation or respect to another person. Gifts are given by and to significant others, family members, friends, and coworkers every single day all over the world. Although these gifts are perceived to be inherently selfless, they are often given in a self-focused manner.

If you are not familiar with "Love Languages", the basic premise is that we all have one or two core ways that we appreciate being loved. We also tend to give love in the same ways (quality time, gift-giving, physical touch, etc). One of my main takeaways from learning about this concept is that I need to consider the person's love language when attempting to care for them, as opposed to loving them in my default way.

The same is true for giving gifts, whether it be an actual present, a gesture, or even a promotion. When you give, are you giving with the other person's needs and wants in mind, or are you giving in a self-focused manner? Did you buy the gift that you like, or did you buy them what you know they will appreciate? Did you promote someone into a new role because it's self-serving, or will it truly be the best fit for them?

Whatever you give, give with the other person at the center of the decision.